Immensely discouraged.
To cut crap short, I'm way disappointed with myself why I can't dig deeper and think, although I haven't reached such inferiority complex before when presented with a piece of data. I'm at least competent enough to analyse the visible. And to be pointed out by my own prof how wrong and superficial it is to be satisfied with the given and not stretching myself to find out more is very discouraging. It's one of those times I start to wonder why I'm like that. First off, I don't bother to think. Secondly even if I think, all those stuff circle inside my mind before they are promptly vocalised to convince those I need to convince, and they'd mistake my dazed expression as if I'm completely puzzled.
I grumbled I didn't have breakfast and was madly hungry. Shrivani gave me a chocolate bar and Wanyi got me a cup of 2% milk from downstairs (jokingly, since the Blotto solution we use for Western blot is 5% milk, but this has nothing to do with lab materials) If there's one reason why I'm not disgusted by research yet or the inferiority complex it keeps feeding me, that has to be how caring they are. Thank you and at the same time I felt I've let those down, although there isn't much real association to start with. Wish I could think, think, think.
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