right n left

These days it seems, nothing's going right. Everything's going left.
Or more precisely - i thought it was going right, but it was the exact mirror image.

Over confidence isn't a good thing either. I thought I performed really well for the french oral test but the result was so-so. Comme ci, comme sa. Maybe I still didn't get the right 'french' accent to go with. Was thinking about taking a higher french course since it's a waste to stop at this awkard preliminary stage where you only understand fragments of speech and half mute so to speak. It's really troublesome being a student sometimes. I can't possibly do away with results & exams. But even if I step into working class, I'll be troubled by working performance, productivity, social relationships?? Survival problems never end... But somehow it does feel better to step back and analyse the reasons why I'm not happy. After that I do feel happier. Is it true the world is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel? Maybe I'm somewhere in between.

For now, must stay humble and revise well for finals.

damn euthymides

My beloved history of greek art. Again!! Feel the urge to blog/complain about the misleading slide id. test. Now I know why it's 'beloved' greek art. This one-sided obsession is never repaid in due respect. T_T history of art loves me not. How can an artist dead for centuries still trick me into tagging that mysterious pottery to someone else. This 'notorious' Euthymides! I didn't even pay attention to this artisit coz I only know one pottery work of his ,'the three revelers' - to put it simply, a very much hilarious scene of three guys dancing. And the unknown slide given to us has three figures in it as well! But how can '3' be of any great help? I never knew Euthymides drew scenes related to Dionysus, satyrs, maenades and such! And I got the impression it must be Amasis painter. They always draw wine gods and the like. Ahh, Euthymides, you fickle artist, why did you switch genre? And somehow still stuck on your good old threesome composition??? I felt like I've just bought some bogus bootie with a whole month's salary.

Romans have great bath buildings. I envy them. They sure know how to enjoy life...

The Lovers Legend

That Kind of Love
Alison Krauss

Who would sell their soul for love?
Or waste one tear on compromise
Should be easy enough
To know a heartache in disguise
But the heart rules the mind
And the going gets rough
Pride takes the fall
When you find that kind of love

I can't help feeling like a fool
Since I lost that place inside
Where my heart knew its way
And my soul was ever wise
Once innocence was lost
There was not faith enough
Still my heart held on
When it found that kind of love

Though beauty is rare enough
Still we trust
Somehow we'll find it there
With no guarantee
It seems to me
At least it should be fair

But if it's only tears and pain
Isn't it still worth the cost
Like some sweet saving grace
Or a river we must cross
If we don't understand
What this life is made of
We learn the truth
When we find that kind of love
Cause when innocence is lost
There is not faith enough
We learn the truth
When we find that kind of love

Ah, Alison Krauss is the best!

Now I realize I've been coming back to this topic time n again but honestly I'm really fascinated by the golden Greek period and I won't ever regret taking this art history course despite how boring our prof is.

So today's menu is : the lovers legend - celebration of male beauty in greek mythology
The marble scuptures Romans copied from Greeks are stunning but that's not where it all started. It all began with an interesting story told by a pediment frieze at the temple of Zeus, which was built in the 5th century BC. The theme of the frieze is 'the chariotte contest for King Oinomaus' daughter Hippotamia(a name that reminds me of hippopotamus...)'. It was a contest in which Pelops who eventually won over Hippotamia, played a trick on Oinomaus's chariotte. (the bronze linchpins were replaced by fake ones made of beeswax so the wheels easily slip off).

And that lead me on to read more about Pelops (sly & treasonous), which lead me to his old lover Poseidon. And Pelop's eerie past: his own dad slew and cooked him into a stew for the Olympian gods. Zeus, out of sympathy(which is rare, all these gods who easily throw their wrath on helpless mortals), resurrected Pelops who upon rebirth, exuded an essence of unparalled beauty which stunned Poseidon.

And onwards with Pelops I was guided through a winding path that eventually ended at Oedipus from whom the Freudian term 'Oedipus complex' is derived.

And back on to Zeus & Ganymede, Archilles & Petroclus etc.

To sum it all up, it is an 'omnivorous' period which culminates in art, in culture and also in celebration of male beauty. If you think now, homosexulas are still fighting for their rights. It was such an integral part of Greek culture back then and instead of being something immoral & sodomite, it was part of an 'initiation', the binding of a youth to his master who passed on his knowledge and wisdom to the young friend and lover. Oscar Wilde might have wished to be transported back to that period, together with his beloved Bosie.

But I have to say all the legends evolving around gods' relationships are somewhat stupid-sounding, beastly funny at times.

in which Pelops walked to the grey sea on the night before the contest, calling out to Poseidon
O, Poseidon! If you had any joy of our love, Aphrodite's sweet girt, stay the bronze spearof Oinomaus, speed me on the swiftest of chariots down by Pisa's river, and clothe me about in strength, for he has already killed twelve, and puts off his daughter's wedlock.
Great danger does not take hold of a coward; since we are all destined to die, why should one sit to no purpose in darkness and find a nameless old age, without any part of glory his own? No, to me falls this hazard, to you to grant me success!

I was even momentarily fascinated by his pompous speech (well-delivered nonetheless), guess what, this bastard struck a deal with Oinomaus' charioteer Myrtilus (God Hermes' son). 'Help me win' he says ' and the first night with her (Hippotamia) is yours to enjoy, I sear it upon all that is sacred!' It was an outrageous lie which brought down Pelops eventually, but still, what a bastard. He should've been stewed and eaten clean back then. Nothing Zeus ever did was right.

Ah, I haven't eaten rice for almost a week. How disastrous.

garnet crow okamoto

Haha, I had so much fun spoiling his hair. Okamoto-san, happy belated b-day!

ps. Okamoto - guitarist from GARNET CROW, my fav Jpop band.

the self

original picture taken from here

What do you do when you no longer like yourself?

I was sifting through my messy MSN contacts and was wondering why the heck would some people add me to their contacts but never talked to me once. Just when I was about to delete all the nonsense, I spotted the display name 'S.X'? 'S.X' who? Do I know you? I have no clue, not even from the email address so I decided to look at his MSN space. Maybe his name's written in the profile. What a simple space layout. No names, no extras, just 3 neat entries. 'What do you do when you no longer like yourself?' the latest entry reads.

Hmm.

Just when I was deep in thoughts, S.X.'s conversation window popped out, 'Hi!'. For real? Isn't it scary? I felt like a thief caught redhanded although I didn't really invade his privacy.

'I was looking at your blog.'
'What? I'm looking at yours too.'
Conversation was going perfectly soap opera.
'what??'
'I was reading your last entry.'
'Ah forget it, it's just male PMS'

That's a poignant description. Male PMS. Anyhow I can't help thinking about the question. The fact is, I don't like myself either, periodically. Why in the whole wide world do I easily like someone else but never myself? It's so difficult to 'be myself' and still 'like it'. I'm losing that spontaneity. I even hate my decisions. I'm so brainblocked I don't know what more to write except I'm not comfortable with the current me.

pen

So this's 'the pen'.
I don't recall it being mine.

I find it confusing/somewhat profound, how one's lifestyle can change when living alone. Eat or sleep become equal chores as doing weekly laundry or washing dishes. When there're two as friends or lovers, or three as a happy family, one carefully prepares a meal enjoyed by all. I sleep early so as not to disturb my roommate; or clean up routinely to give it the feeling of a home. But alone, everything becomes functional rather than bearing any real meaning. There's no heart, no thought. The brain decides by instinct what's essential for basic living. When I'm not with them, my parents never bother with cooking. Those tiny gestures of significance become visible when the picture's reduced to its base colours. Or is it just me, someone who doesn't know how to take care of herself. But there's simply no need, neither a desire when I'm doing it for nobody but me alone. Strip away the decorations and life seems different.

from an old alumnus

You might think it's nonsensical, this unexpected email. Someone saw a pen in my pencilcase and asked about it. I remembered you gave it to me, and the old memories came back. How are you now?

I don't remember the pen. But I remember the old times. I rememberd a story about the pen I lent to you. We both liked to spin our pens but you were so unskilled you almost broke the one I gave you. I complained in the weekly journal how you tortured my pen and the teacher said something in class after she finished marking those journals. 'Someone lent her pen to a friend who has the habit of spinning pens and almost broke it. But the funny thing is, she also loves to spin pens and yet she's complaining about it. ' I laughed as I typed this. Do you still remember？Do you still spin pens now? For me, I can't concentrate on my work unless I spin it.

What does it look like, the one lying in your pencilcase?

archaic smile

'You have a nice archaic smile.'
^__^ (lol *rolling on floor*)

It's a special term used to describe a particular facial expression found on archaic sculptures dated back to 6th century BC. A smile like this: (gentle curling at corner of lips)

A Sounion sculpture found on Attic, where Anthens is located.

When the prof flashed this slide, I was instantly reminded of hu yuxuan. She has EXACTLY that kind of smile when she's scheming a thousand excuses/plans in her head.

There's one particular pottery painting I liked among all slides. By an artisit named Exekias, frieze on neck amphora, circa 545 B.C.

The theme is 'the suicide of Ajax', a hero in the Trojan war. It's rare to spot a painting which put more emphasis on the 'atmosphere' than the figure itself. Red clay gives a twilight feel and hints at the character's loneliness.

It's one thing to like potteries and quite another to collect them. I can't imagine a house clustered with big jars and kraters. That's an absolute nightmare.

The guy who lived next door looked scary. Last time he stopped in the hallway and asked me if I had a lighter for cigarretes and it's as if he MUST have that cigarette immediately or else death would fall upon him. And the next time I spotted him walking and panting heavily at the same time. Was he on drugs? O_O

banner mania

On a sudden whim of fancy, I've decided to make a banner for everyone , hmmhmm. Never made any banner/icon before and I actually did 16 within 3 hours. I'm a genius. Hope the theme goes well with everyone's blog. If you're unsatisfied, I'll make another when I'm bored.

My top 3 choices will have to go to


Although it might look more like 'a poor little fish committing suicide' than 'a fish's dream'...


9 coloured pills for you to pop, Jady!


Katana set + teapot. Or is it in my imagination the katana looks like a temple facade, trying to push it towards an imperium motif. Don't blame me if it feels like a thirty samurai.

Kneel down & Apologize to yaya,

I'll make a better one 'next time', i mean 'next time'.

I fail horribly as a responsible adult. I'd rather starve than cooking. Making banners rather than reading books. Saying 'don't worry zhu, you are a genius' instead of sitting down and revising for tests. What should I do. I'm gonna be jobless.

The only thing I managed to read this whole weekend are William Woodsworth's lyrical poems. (Our french prof says if we don't hyphan week-end, C'est anglais! not french!)
His lyrical poems (not a bunch of narrative poems)are mostly hymns for the beauty of nature. I wonder if he was a peaceful person at heart, whether he had beautiful childhood memories. I want to go to a place without myself, a place where I don't have to think. Jady, I wonder if it's still possible to find a piece of land where hermits dwell. Maybe they don't want to see us. Maybe they don't want us to join them.

To the Daisy
William Woodsworth

In youth from rock to rock I went,
From hill to hill in discontent
Of pleasure high and turbulent,
Most pleased when most uneasy;
But now my own delights I make, -
My thirst at every rill can slake,
And gladly Nature's love partake
Of thee, sweet Daisy!

Thee Winter in the garland wears
That thinly decks his few grey hairs;
Spring parts the clouds with softest airs,
That she may sun thee;
Whole summer-fields are thine by right;
And Autumn, melancholy wight!
Doth in thy crimson head delight
When rains are on thee.

A Joke from Tree's blog

revamp

Sayonara to golden clock & roman time. Jady must be sad I changed the layout. Summer's coming so here comes a cooler shade. Main reason for doing so: procrastination. Two tests next week, not in study mode.

shunji iwai's world

We'll meet again.



She was clutching the book, grinning.


And he loved you so...




spring has come, but you left.


- I'm from Hokkaido...
- So why are you studying here in Musashino?
- Musashino... Musashino




Let's go picnic!


The last day of our youth

zhang wang

Link to more pics
A very skilled artist called Zhang Wang. He's a univeristy professor teaching chinese painting and CG by the way. Most of his paintings are based on mythology and he uses a combination of CG and traditional watercolour slightly stylized for young people's tastes.

Tired... =_=