05 Nov 11

5th November,

I started my soul dustbin again, not as warmly as the old version coz I don’t know how to use Microsoft publisher, it’s different from frontpage so I’m just making do with it.

I have 2 important testz next week, Monday and Tuesday, but look what I’m doing here. This might be one quick way of suicide, wasting time on diary pages rather than textbooks and exam papers. I’m stressed coz I’m not doing what I’m supposed to do yet I don’t feel like doing it now, procrastination.

I didn’t know jazz could be so soothing, been listening to Norah Jones. Nightingale, sing us a song, is your journey far too long? I feel comfortably lazy, on a cold day like this, outside the wind’s billowing in gusts. A steamy cup of English toffee and you walk on the campus feeling the trees singing in harmony. I feel at peace not thinking just listening and feeling the warmth. The meadow over there is carpeted with golden leaves. The wind has swept them all to one side of the road, whether they like it or not. Occasionally they swing in small whirlpools, pulling passers by gently into their embrace and settling down again so quietly, sleeping on top of each other. I wish I could just dissolve into the crispy freshness of the air and imagine myself carried by the wind to a sunny hilltop while the whole world disappears around me, to a place where there’s nothing but the green and the golden.

My friend who have just experienced a broken relationship have seemingly lost her faith in such thing called love. While love might be everywhere, drifting in air like the spring pollens, the way you see it in the movie ‘love actually’, a writer & a maid, best friends’ bride and a wasted heart, prime minister and office girl, a boy and a girl, singer & manager, but where is it actually, are we so blind or is love in a hurry it misses us? Where is love headed in her rush I wonder, to this abstract thing called endless desire or to hearts expecting nothing and waiting for nothing? And why would it be so complicated for a simple thing as love itself.

I must start recording things that’ll eventually make me happier, maybe some jokes of my own. Right now guizi’s humming with earphones on but she’s still in tune. It’s almost dinner time, maybe we should go down for dinner. When will those resnet people be back to work? I haven’t used internet for 2 weeks now, I feel like a secluded hermit. Nobody can survive that long without internet. I’m amazing, I’m amazed.