the war is over everywhere...except here

sorry if someone got confused by the ambiguous title i put there. i'm not saying military , physical wars that take place in reality. the war- UofT finals that's what i mean. the 'war' is over for all the enscience guys, and should I just say the war's over for everyone except we poor souls who take chm247, and me who take additional burdensome course-cla201, greek n latin in scientific terminology. both next monday and I know it'll pass before I know it. It always happens. Time slips away through your fingers and it's an impossibly dreadful thing trying to envision it or to give it a corporeal body. This morning I was still lying in bed around eleven, my brain in a semi-conscious state, drifting in and out. I wasn't aware when Guizi left for her biochem final early this morning. I was thinking, one hour later she would be released from her dreadful hell, freedom after 4 days of intensive fighting. All the enscience girls would be free 4 or 5 hours following that and all that was left- me. It wasn't a matter of alienation, rather I prefer this strange state of peacefulness, knowing that I could stick with my own pace while the other half of the world was partying away. As if in total control of what could otherwise go haywire. but that was just an illusionary comfort. But will be better once I dip myself into this tangle of mess called organic chem. there must be a start. Give it a spark and it'll burn. I'm that candle and I have to self-ignite what a funny thought is that.

Is guizi going to move out? I'll definitely miss her if she does. And I don't understand why she ever thinks of moving out for the next semester, and with Merli. I have absolutely no idea how to settle the problems of printer, goggles, lab coat, gloves, anthropology book and that electrical kettle- all of them shared property. and that huge printer! what a heck. We'll part ways sooner or later. think of it realistically. but that's just a fact written down that cannot be erased. 'Stay' you say, how much does that word carry. 'Please stay', do I really care so much that the word should sound so heavy. 'Stay coz I'll miss you' and why is the physical presence of a friend significant enough to make the same thought tossing around and bumping against the walls of your prison like mind. but i'm sure if she goes, i won't be seeing her often then. We go to different classes. even people on the same campus can be no more different than those oceans away. won't we be happier if we can find a shared apartment together next year and gang can join us too. why such an abrupt early move. I always think too much. but here's the joke- chances she's moving out is minimal. unless she successfully finds a house in 4 days. i was thinking, the one who stays and the one who leaves, they'll probably blame it on the other half, both of them. 'why won't u stay', 'why won't you come?' fools. just like dad and his best friend.