small measure of happiness

small measure of happiness

Sometimes thoughts spin in my head and I rocked back n forth hesitating whether i should entangle the mess, pull everything out by blogging it or just let it spin n sendiment n thus be forgotten. It doesn't matter really. The mood catches up so i'm writing it.

I was thinking 'happiness is so small', or so is 'love'. Remember the quote from the English Patient, 'love is so small you can pull it through the eye of a needle'. I've always wondered what it means. Love is small, but not weak. It's sensual, subtle, comes n slips as it will.

In front of me the poster reads 'remember this... that very little is needed to make a happy life.' , by a company called 'small package.' A pinky cheeked baby sticks out his tongue to catch small flakes. Awww, so chubby and lovable. Reminds me of a special Jap food called 'mochi', essentially made of sticky soft flour and shaped like a button (a fuller button... sighs my description sucks). Jady likes the name 'small package', i remember her saying 'the company doesn't intend to make it big'. Gang once tried to catch snow flakes with her tongue too. and we were saying how the snowflakes seemed to loom out of nowhere if u looked up at the grey sky.

Hmm I'm using that 'lavender flavoured' body wash, first recommended by E.T. sama. I was frankly surprised that I could find it in Toronto coz I thougth it was product of Malaysia. Well... haha. The super fragrance sometimes haunts people. Jady wrote in my autograph ' everytime i step out of the bathroom the room's instantly filled up with that lavendar smell. and then she'd ketou to my flowery skirt (the one i wore as pajamas)' It was kinda hilarious, as if i'm a queen to be worshipped, only the real queesn bathed themselves in real flower-petal baths. And strangely the too familiar fragrance reminds me sharply of summer, although spring has hardly befriended this all too moody downtown city. It's as if something witched that keeps me hypnotized. Or symbols that pull you back to a memory, to some seasons, some colours, or the refreshing midnight air. 'You spilled half the perfume on the carpet and it forever smelled of peppermint.' Hua lu shui, straw mats, ice-cream, crickets.

Or a friend close to your heart but who's been horribly busy still replies your mail regardless. Even if they don't have the time at hand to fully appreciate the things you wanna share with them. Nonetheless they'd soothe you by saying 'This sure sounds great. I'll definitely look at it after the mess is over.' It's not mere rapport speech out of friendliness n courtesy. You know better they do care. Even seeminly meaningless words could make a day. 'So many meaningless nothings are better than that something'. In the end you might laugh it off and say 'it's just my wishful thinking', but you WERE happy.

And so i imagined a small cube of sugar, just a tiny crystal probably, melting its way into a refrigerated jar of lemonade, slowly, all around it, sweetens. Happiness really is so small.