love

now I lost the last trace of interest, to write...
How strange (and tragic) that my thoughts died as this page popped up. It'll be so much easier to 'be in a middle of a conversation', or pretend to be. How cozy to start off nowhere, laugh when all others are silent, wear red at a funeral, or hitchhack a falling star (crash together won't they), and above all still be acceptable now you're an embodiment of all the world's utter trash n dirt totalled up and amplified thousand times over.

and to write such nonsense makes me laugh.

and where am i...

I don't like instant noodles. I need vegetables. & fruits. Not banana or overipe apples. I had earphones on , but music off. Simply too lazy to take them off. Or the strange idea I need this initiation/transtion stage to drift from one silence to another silence, like fragile fetus just dies outside the maternal sea.

A person speaks, with rhythms, well kept. nouns, pronouns, verbs, another object. A person's heart beats, out of rhythms, beyond him. lub lub dub dub dub. The cacophony, the broken harmony goes on like a sure thing. How the surface betrays the beneath, or the other way. Smiles, signs, gestures, a few skipped heartbeats, a few strained sinews, a couple of wrenching nerves. One dies. One lives. It lives once. It dies many times.

- random thoughts after reading a messed up story with too much angst and the suckiest storyline