gloomy

current mood: upset

Fight over toothpaste, selfish, childish, above all disappointing

I ran out of toothpaste and was too lazy to buy any. So i shared toothpaste with guizi. Wanted to go shopping this afternoon but guizi wouldn't go with me. Usually i have very little motivation to shop for things unless accompanied.
'Oh but if u r going, buy me snacks.'
'why not go together. it's gonna be quick anyways.'
'it's so cold outside.'
'like i'd feel warm out there.'
'well you'll survive without toothpaste i guess'

Is that a threat? i was started for a second but paid no attention. I'll just go n buy it tomorrow then.

And this evening it DID HAPPEN! A NIGHT WITH NO TOOTHPASTE.
But the thing that hurts most is prob the childish act of hiding a toothpaste just so ur 'friend' can't use it. whether for revenge or for reminder doesn't make me feel any better. It's plainly disappointing n hurting. So much for a friend. Over toothpaste, great.
And then i was really annoyed i'd be upset over such trivial things. But it's indeed upseting. I mean, what the hell, your close close friend is turning her back on u. And it's not a big deal after all. Just that i refused to go out today to shop for necessities. is that such a horrible mistake.
Should i laugh or should i be mad. I really dun feel like speaking, neither showing any temper. Should i just pull a calm face, get up tomorrow with again, no toothpaste, put on my clothes round my scarf open the door step out, freeze , 'hey can u buy me some snacks? since u r going out to shop for toothpaste after all?',
so i'd say 'yes', how miserable miserable zhu. If there's colour for someone's mood which could be seen by naked eyes, i'd shut my eyes close so tight so that i won't be able to know how she's feeling. what if she's gloating with glee or feeling anywhere near victory. Wasn't i cheating myself how it all didn't matter.
The truth is, there just ARE gloomy petty things like this that spoil your days.

And about houses too. Sighs, not sure if gang is reading this. I'm really really somewhat mad why she wouldn't move out with us. Well, if u r happy with the plan, i'm fine with just anything. The rest is not worth discussing. Sighs, I don't know why i'm so messed up, or just equally so with anybody else. Is there ever a thing called naked sincerity anymore. Shall we speak without shame of losing our own pride. Like once , or twice in a while. I'd be so damn glad. Hey, you n me, what's going on...