不在状态

周一，总是那么的精神涣散，两眼发直。今天打电话被工头批评说随便“篡改”问候语，我暗自不满这人怎么那么死板，可没办法你最大，你咋要求的我就咋办。

要好好利用早上的时间了，我的一天都是10点后开始的。

桂子挑了件白色的Hoodie，她穿应该更合适。

Sunny day,Salmon

This nerdy post is about a type of fish called salmon...

Salmon's not on my top list but it's a relatively expensive commodity due to rarity of wild catch (limited to one or two per day in accordance with fishery law - what's that?), unusual spawning pattern and exotic pink flesh. Anyway, we went to west van. for family branch and salmon was brought up amongst the chatters. British Columbia is famous for salmon (as Canada is known for maple, just to draw some parallel significance) and over 80% of farmed catch is exported to the States. Lots BC residents buy boxed salmon from Cosco as souvenir gifts...not that many people actually appreciate the delicacy of salmon (count me in).The Pacific coast (Toronto area) should also have plenty stocks as salmon return to freshwater lakes to spawn. The most common species is called Sockeye (scarlet body and green head during spawning). Others include Chinook(Kings,they can be gigantic) and Coho(Silvers). 2 nutritional facts about salmon: rich in omega-3 and carotenoids(explains for pink color as they consume carotenoid-rich marine life).

Sockeye


Sockeye salmon underwater during a peak run at Adams River, British Columbia, Canada, in October 2006 (video from plbman)


And as a 'retired'/'retarded' biochemist, I remember salmon sperms are rich sources of DNA. They're abundant and relatively easy to extract. I remember someone (a famous biochemist, but not so lucky at the start of his career) was sent to salmon fishery up west where he successfully purified DNA thanks to the large stock of sperms. Just who is it?

Great sunshine on a Sunday afternoon


View of lion's gate, stanley park, and downtown Van from the west hill


sunny tiger


sunny glove

九周年纪念之二

Dear guizi，you have serious eye bags.

昨天才说呢今天就碰钉子了

政治立场...is a b*tch！下午去Jugo juice面试，老板是个老移民，知道我在做拉票工作就开始谈政治。也真巧，他超级反感我拉的党派（也不是说我支持谁，我还不了解情况所以没有任何立场可言）。这个面试就变成他义愤填膺的说教，当中穿插“啊，不好意思啊，这个其实没什么关系的，只是正好说起。”然后言归正传，说了没几句又拐到政治了。xx党派毫无作为，墙头草一根，xx议员背叛初忠，云云。他间歇性向我投来严肃的说教眼神，“华人有一点不好，就是华人老投华人的票。”（我心想，这不是常理吗？黑人不也投黑人的票，尤其当我们处于少数时。啊，册哪，我骨子里真保守真歧视）。他说不要人云亦云有道理，但我听来是某人的政策直接影响过他的生意，政策太多了也不可能满足所有的人，所以总有支持者和反对者。就说我现在大概会投支持移民加速的政党，就这么简单。

还好最后还是被录用了。虽然这里明文规定雇主不可以因政治立场、相貌、残疾与否、性取向等偏袒录用，激动的人到处都是啊！

啊，差点忘了，今天是我们出国9周年纪!!!

结婚证

重感冒头痛鼻涕发热中 >_< 哎，俺老了！铁是锈的了要上医疗保险了！

今天拉票中心出了件事情，有人投诉被威胁了，说你们的人就算开玩笑也太过分了，要告你啊脑残！某脑残（确实非常NC）听到电话那头说要选保守党，很来气“你选保守党的话你孩子都要进监狱！”首先说明，这脑残还是知道些政治的。保守党如果上台有条新规定，青少年判罪从18岁降至14岁。他和保守党有啥不共戴天之仇这般诅咒人家良民？政治上的恶意抨击粉危险的说！

我接了个很奇怪的电话，那人没发表任何政治表态而是问我“你几岁了？”，“今年18去年18明年还18！”（假设情节对话）。我当然是闷头一句“啊？”那头就挂了。后知后觉，难道他当我是色情女郎？？！

我的花名不叫xx议员，我在问“你能支持吗”不是“你要买我吗”啊你个听力智障的色老头还挑三拣四拾嫩草！！！


挖到古宝咯~~ 爸妈的结婚证书！！哦活活，等我回去了一定会唆使他们庆祝结婚纪念2月3！这俩人太不浪漫了，啥个节日都不过。

冷

Singabloodypore

I was looking through CEC document checklist(which's very similar to skilled worker btw), and among the dazzling array of notarizations they require police cert (or no criminal record) from countries you resided previously for more than 6 months. That means I need a report from Singapore police! The procedures are confusing: Sg needs a letter from canadian visa office in order to issue a record, but usually the visa office only issues letters after receiving your applications and assigning you a file number. Right now I need their letter to start my application? How do I get the chicks before the eggs? Chicken? Egg? Anyone? I dread calling their 'hot'lines.

Enough misery gathering the documents... I came across this section on Sg's no criminal record application form which sent me into bouts of hysterical giggles. Isn't that a 'What's wrong with Sg' survey in disguise? How do you even find a survey on a police cert?! Then Jady offered an answer 'probably cuz they cant get ppl to answer otherwise...'

Section 25, Sg CNCC form, rate your top 3 reasons for emigrating.


Mr.Blue Flame remarked I have a rich inside but a boring outside. I take it as I'm not outgoing/positive enough, but then it might be a real problem if I synchronize inside out. I'm not sure it would be me.

Ah it's getting bleak and wet and rainy lately and I don't have anything warm to wear. Dear Guizi ~ Please mail me a UT hoodie ~

亲子对话

零八年度亲子对话，主题：择业　
爹快三十才上大学，娘快五十考了博士，我的家训本当“年龄不是问题”，或“心想事成”。

爸爸在1973年高中毕业后做的工作有：居民委员会学校读报员，居民纠纷调解员，治安保卫员，在汽车站做公交车售票员，汽车加汽油员，行李装卸员，汽车维修员、代课教师，在中学的校办工厂做变压器，直到1976年10月，被泰州化肥厂录取成工人，做操作工，管道修理工，晒图员等等。1978年10月到浙江大学上学。 爸爸小时候学校放学回家后，拿一个篮子到大街上去捡吃完后的玉米杆，晒干后做材火（燃料），也捡过垃圾卖钱等等。那时家里贫穷，只好做这些。但锻炼了自己，想想还是很有收获的。吃尽苦中苦，方为人上人，这句话是我爸爸一直对我讲的，现在才真正理解。 妈妈就更不用讲了，她11岁时妈妈（你外婆）就去世了，你外公不在家，在外地工作，就是你大姨妈和二姨妈将她带大的，她可能已经记不得了，想必吃了不少苦。

无限宇宙的child

拉票

今天是第一天打工，每天晚上6-9点打三小时电话帮议员拉选票。之前我很犹豫要不要接，因为传销类工作在我看来太不三不四了，这样的瘪三清高想法很快就被父母打击了。我抱着1.再不赚钱连房租都交不起 2.吃得苦中苦方为人上人 被动和主动两种想法去见习了。

选举在10月14号举行，所以这是有时限的临时工作。我不清楚是否每个议员都有类似的电话拉票活动，也怀疑此类行动的意义，真的有选民因为一个电话就去投票？因为无法放弃哪怕千分之一的可能性，也就有了这临时搭建的电话中心。周一来的人真不少，男女老少皆有，大概五十余人。步骤很简单，只要照着文本宣读“xx女士/先生您好，我是xx党派议员选举办公室的义工，（穿插寒暄语），您会支持xx吗？”支持的话继续问“请问能在你家附近插宣传牌吗？牌子有大中小号，您选择什么尺寸？”（果然不能随地贴广告啊）不支持的话也要问“那您确定支持哪个党派呢？”。

实际上还是有微妙的技巧的，比如说开头“抱歉打扰您”“xx议员向您问好”这类话不如不讲，反倒让人觉得你在强制推销。语速太快会让人烦躁，我旁边的欧巴桑操着京片子拖长音说“您－好～～～～，诶～～我～～是那个～～～”这样的语气语调似乎挺受家庭妇女欢迎。

接下来列举我两小时内的新鲜经历：

家庭主妇甲（半朦胧，不知有没睡醒）：“哦...好啊...我支持（无力的）...哦...插吧...哦，再见。”

男乙：“请问xx最近在干什么呢？”　－他问的那么亲切我都有冲动回答“xx应该在家看电视或者睡觉吧。”，我切换成官方台词“如果您想获悉xx的详细信息，我们会有专门人员来联系您。”，结果男乙说：“所以你只是在拉票？”，我一愣，答：“对，我们现在只是在做调查。”男乙：“我不能回答，我需要更有分量的人。”挂了。册那！这是我今晚碰到的最有魄力的拒绝。就好像以前去街上要捐款，偶尔有人很认真的问你，你是代表哪个组织筹款？这个组织做了什么好事有没有为社会做贡献？男乙挂了电话后我空白了一下，他意思就是说我啥都不知道在忽悠他。我拿起xx的宣传手册开始了解“他最近到底在干什么”，看来xx在做任何一个议员都会做的事，高谈阔论和抨击别家党派。xx申请到的交通扩建费用是否能付诸实践呢？冬奥会的轻轨还没落实呢。下次再有人问我xx最近在干什么，我就说xx在宣传民族和平和经济繁荣。我打心底佩服男乙，最起码他是个责任感极强的选民（对比家庭主妇甲，如上）。

男丙：“啊，xx啊，我今天才跟他吃过饭碰面。好好，支持的，支持的。”　－我惊讶的都忘了继续问“能不能在你家旁边插牌。”就谢过他挂了电话。“我是假的还是他是假的？”我想我们彼此都在考虑这个问题。

我旁边的欧巴桑闹了个笑话，就是开场白“我是xx选举办公室的义工”她说成了“我是xx选举办公室的议员”　= =|||||||

说到这里的党派，我只模糊记得Green Party支持大麻合法化的决议，怎么这样？！又一想大麻合法化和妓女合法化，不知哪个更有争议？

今天难得关心一下政治 XD 明天继续寻找打工～

路边的野果

下午去机场对面的River Road溜达，这条横跨东西的河边散步道是溜狗/骑车/跑步/观鸟/摄影/看日出日落的佳地。踩着碎石子嘎吱嘎吱的走，每过几分钟天边就有架飞机伴着风声和引擎声呼呼的升降，尽头雪白的云朵匍匐于蓝色的波浪里。这条路很长，蔓延至西边的太平洋海湾，在这望不到头的路上边走边看惬意的很。


View Larger Map



岸边满是大片的芦苇和低洼，经常有奇异的鸟在草间穿梭。远处的“轮子”不知是啥？


放大


之前我们都是来散步的，这次有以外的收获。路对面有棵果实丰硕的苹果树，奇怪的是果子都集中在北边一半树杈上，还都悬吊的老高。那俩人爬、跳、钩都使上了只摘下一个。

可望而不可及的高度


我在坡边“助阵”观望


虽然没采成苹果，意外发现有不少黑莓。我们拿了freesby当篮子，冒着被针戳被刺扎的生命危险（灌木类植物），顶着蜘蛛飞蚊马蜂的袭击，一小时后采了满满一盘满载而归，Yeah~~

血手


野黑莓没农药，味道甜，但时有小爬虫骚扰。没洗干净的话就当高蛋白下咽吧！

Meduzot

Meduzot在去年的温哥华电影节展出过，当时被这张色彩鲜艳的宣传图吸引着，可惜没排到票白跑一趟。个人偏好小孩和成年人的搭配，比如Le papillon，Monsieur Ibrahim之类的。



Trailer


剧情简介：（来自豆瓣）
一個在婚禮上端盤子的宅女，在海邊撿到一個不說話的小女孩；一個結婚當天摔斷腿，因而無法出國度蜜月的新娘；另一個來自菲律賓的外籍看護，碰上一個超難纏的老太太。三個女人、三段故事互相對照影響，卻有三種令人意想不到的結局。這部看似冷調的作品，其實情感豐沛、影像純熟，完全不像是部處女作，獲得多項大獎肯定。

***
情节着实散漫，就像Meduzot（海蜇）一般漫无目的的瓢啊瓢。心理刻画很细腻，所以尽管没有实际情节，背景音乐又节约的过分，看着倒不觉得乏味。到了最后一幕我有个很可怕的疑点：那个小女孩是真实存在的吗？

话说我又被人小瞧了......我是打算付成人票价的，卖票的主动问Are you a student? 我犹豫了一下做了个摸卡的小动作（反射而已），最后回答Never mind.他反倒更加肯定的确认'It's OK. I trust you!'我那个晕啊，你都那么信任我了我就再当回学生吧！

干了件蠢事

这件蠢事让我倍感窝心。移民需要雅思成绩，但只要General Reading，不要Academic。我考的是Academic人家不要，现在要重考General. F*&K. 在我温饱都有问题的时候，两百多块钱打水漂！多么让人心痛的蠢事啊（暗自赏耳刮子）。

和家里人稍微聊了几句过后，我觉得真该反省反省了。不疼不痒，不褒不贬的来形容至今为止我这个懒散的人：过于理想主义，不够吃苦耐劳，遇到点事情容易消沉，认真起来很认真，也有小才但因不够吃苦耐劳性格阴暗发挥不出来。总结病根为过于理想主义，再不改要完蛋了。

挺受打击的，我要下狠心去改。

贫乏

涂了一堆字竟然没能存下来，神秘的网络啊，你是觉得我写的太无聊了么？最近无论是物质还是体力上我都贫乏的慌，虽然不愿意在精神上也逐渐沙漠化，一到晚上该睡觉的时候竟然失眠。我最不能忍耐的就是失眠，册那！还我脑袋瓜一碰枕头即睡的神力来！有时候忍不住设想，如果没有家里人支持我会是怎么个状况？这个问题经常让我碰壁。因为我从未置身于需和生活一博的背水一战，相信人在濒临绝望时会发挥强大的爆发力和潜能，但能不能摆脱下陷的处境就不好说了。我怀疑自己到底有多大的生命力，有个办法就是把现有存款都冻结起来。

G开始TA了，我来贴一道她出的题，有能力的来答。
There's an alien organism that has 6 nucleotides in one codon. Will their DNA be longer than an eukaryote with the same number of genes?

今天等车等了40分钟！看着不下十辆公车从眼前开过，打着“Sorry, not in service”的牌子。我当时心里一沉啊，第一想到的是司机集体罢工！

The league of idiocy

Trailer


I had high expectations of Coen brothers' 'Burn after reading'(imdb). It's a good movie but the creative attempts could use more strength. The plot revolves around typical 'losers' driven to desperate situations. Circle 1: A former CIA agent Osborne is fired for no reason. He has a Stanlist wife played by Tilda Swinton who's having an affair with a treasury guy named Harry (George Clooney). Then you have the equally troubled Circle 2: Two gym staff, Linda and Chad, get hold of Osborne's secret CIA profile and try to blackmail for money.

If you put these two circles together, the names that appear in the overlapping area would be Osborne and surprisingly, Harry, who send the complication to a climax. Problem is, the blackmail part enters the stage a tadbit late and offsets the overall pacing. The dialogues are not commendably witty but the audience still had a good laugh out of it. Blackmail, infidelity,divorce, illiteracy, unemployment, plastic surgery, you have about all the devils partying in the backyard and in the end leaving a huge tangle of mess that's best burnt and forgotten.

Brad Pitt as Chad, the happy-go-'lucky' gym guy

自励帖

拒绝自我怜悯 ！ >_<

突然好饿呀呀呀呀呀呀

凌晨1点突然想吃咸的有肉的（比如肉松面包），饿到连古畑任三郎都看不下去了。呜哦，好悲惨！！！冰箱里只有半截冬瓜哪能活。

Self-importance

When I got back home this evening, my landlord was leaning against the corridor talking to our neighbor who looked positively steamed in the bathing suit. The conversation, or 'late night face-to-face heart-to-heart neighborhood meeting about problems in the neighborhood' was centred around the unusually hot corridor. There is no aeration between the two ends of the corridor and for some reason, probably overheated steamer and everyone's cooking, the ten metre something passage feels like Sahara.

I asked tentatively, out of politeness, 'Something wrong?', and was reduced to standing and listening to repetitive complaints which we all knew too well could be summed up concisely as 'It's bloody hot!Do something about it!'. Then suddenly, a profound look surfaced upon my landlord's face.(By the way, she was holding a novel in one hand.) She said 'I should call Health Canada and let them inspect this place. This's no place to live. There'll be serious health hazards we should be aware of.'Ohohoho, the wonderful democratic society that boasts civil rights and welfare and everyone knows they hold da POWER! While the simple solution is to open the door partitions, with a stopper. Health Canada! Workers Union! You feed on tax and you're cheaper than a call!Sure it's hard to manage people who think they know the law too well.

She will call. Health Canada will be here experiencing tropical air. There'll be friendly conversation with the manager who has a lot to explain, followed by paper work and filing to superiors. And by the time they come up with a solution, it'll be late winter when hot corridor is no longer a problem.

中秋快乐！

好久没写流水账啦！

今天去探访一位年长的熟人，她问我要不要去江苏省同胞bbq聚会，地点在某公园的大草坪，时间为晚上6至9点。我暗自惊叹只要有华人的地方就有界门纲目科属种般繁多的同乡会，一边想象着自己鱼目混珠的在一堆有些代沟的新老移民中拉家常。不不，爸妈说这种想法是不对的！是很小青年的！我马上振奋起来说，好啊，我们去吧！

结果我们来到Burnaby中央公园某湖边开始吹风。号称百人的江苏人民俱乐部只见几簇人站在草坪上闲聊，没有烤肉或非烤肉食物的迹象。江苏人民仍在等待“工作人员”外购食物，我们继续站着吹风。看到现在温哥华各处的景色都大同小异，再多一张也无妨。野鸭飞起后破水而入的瞬间是很优雅的，比水上直升机升降刺溜的多。



“你来了几年啦？”
“两年多了。”
“哦，我才刚来几个月。”
“你是江苏哪里人啊？”
“我是南通人。”
“我也是南通人！”（激动地）
“你是南通哪里人啊？”
“我家在XX桥YY门ZZ小区。”
“我家也在XX桥YY门ZZ小区！”（含泪地）
“你家几零几啊？”
“我家－”

NG!此般对话热闹的重复着。事实上，来这儿的中老年移民大多很寂寞的，这样的事讨论起来就围城了，家家有本难念的经。

晚饭是面条、炒饭、沙拉类的自助，可惜没准备够，我才吃了一轮不到就断粮了@_@　

司仪站在桌上问“大家吃饱了没有？食物够不够？”
江苏人民以含糊不清的嗯啊声带过。

之后有即兴表演，有个以前唱黄梅戏的上去撤了两把嗓子，什么涛声依旧、茉莉花、梁山伯与祝英台，还真有味儿。当然少不了传统的灯谜。



回到家我又饿了，煮了俩荷包蛋结束。



答案: 1.观　2.翌　3.棚

摩天轮爆炸红还是蓝反手一记耳刮子

古畑任三郎第二季第四集：这里看
赤か、青か (1996年1月31日) 客串演員：木村拓哉

这么看来，柯南第一部剧场“時計じかけの摩天楼”（97年）也太相似了。古畑反手那记耳刮子真是酷毙了。





生气了生气了


今泉小剧场笑倒不偿命
注：今泉是古畑的白痴助手一名，身来一贱奴才，被古畑使唤来使唤去。以下是他模仿古畑解说的镜头。




***
猜猜这是谁

KRAZY

I haven't mentioned anything about the KRAZY exhibit which I attended 2 months ago but totally missed out the 2nd floor out of bloody ignorance.I checked it out again this Mon and discovered an extremely lovely theatre screening popular movies like mind game, over the hedge, the place promised in our early days etc. The 'theatre' is in fact a rather empty and spacious room with tall ceilings. Reclining sofas and giant screens are placed on all four sides so that viewers can watch the movie from either direction. When I stepped in, I saw people fixated like couch potatoes staring up ahead.The atmosphere is sure comfortable, and soporific.

Photos are not allowed! (Too bad I can't auction this.) Right, the bloody staircase I missed on first visit. Thought it's just deco!


The 1st floor is sub-divided into four sections:comics,manga,anime and animation while the 2nd floor is for video games, pop art, gift shops and movie screening. I'm unfamiliar with comics (Should I be expecting Garfield and Peanuts?) but from the reviews I read,they left out some big names. I was instantly attracted to two artists, one of them Shaun Tan, and the other Chris Ware. They break out of the traditional sequential storytelling and instead emphasize a great deal on the aesthetic side of graphic design.

Shaun Tan's comics don't have textual dialogues (wonderful!!). The experience is similar to watching silent film. He specializes in pencil sketches of imaginative landscapes and characters with rich body languages.

From 'The Arrival' by Shaun Tan (I highly recommend this book)


Chris Ware has style which makes the narrative interesting and the same time complicated because you usually need to trace text bubbles in a tall building to fill the mental picture.It's a lot of deciphering.


***

We went cycling again today. Bobo loves car rides. She's like a white dragon with wind ruffled hair, and a look that says she's on cloud 9. If you roll up the window she'll stare you down in protest. No kidding! Our teenage lady has a temper!



I have negative talent for freesby. It spins so beautifully in a straight line...only in my dream.

Ash green

哦哈哈，换了个灰绿底色，好像有点凉，但是懒得换了。

今天收到所谓的Sponsored child annual report - 名字听上去像财务报表，实际只有一张照片和一页涂鸦。而且从这张照片上来看实在说不出到底过得如何。那整洁的格子衬衫和满是灰尘的裤子、一双泥泞的拖鞋格格不入......大概是义工给他穿上的吧，为了拍这张“艺术照”。资助了一年多也只是每月从银行自动转账，寄去过一封信没有回音，也不了解秘鲁的实际生活状况。所以说我这资助行为是很半吊子的，没有交流也就缺乏真实感，直到今天看到这张照片我又有点动摇了：不知道能不能顺利成长呢？


他画的，是不是很囧?


今天的练习




自从买了板就很少用铅笔，我该换一下了。
***

Banner上的歌词改编自GC的幸福なペット,原歌词：

翻开上个礼拜也曾看过的旅游书
“我们去这里玩吧”你总是说说而已
早起　根本是不可能的　1、2、3
Look! go back a sheet.

某人经常这么挖苦我，所以，我想说，改变还是可能的。

Dear concentration span

Today I did an one-time meticulous counting: My concentration span is 9 B5-sized pages of text, and anything after 9 pages will be, Oh let the thinker sits on a spinning clockwork mechanism, a stray cat steps over the neon light, Hmm soon it'll be closing time when should I go etc etc, while my eyes zap back and forth along the same line that doesn't image on my brain.

Something interesting about perfume:
The indigestible part of giant squid, in particular their beaks, accumulate in sperm whales' stomachs into the substance known as ambergris(wiki), which is used as a fixative in perfumes. The next time you spray on Chanel No.5(assuming you do), you may wish to reflect that you are dousing yourself in distillate of unseen sea monster.
- From 'A short history of nearly everything'by Bill Bryson, footnotes of a certain page



To sum up my reading, ambergris is a chunk of sweet-smelling wax (amber-like?) which I suspect, is something like seasoned squid you find in a snack pack.But it's pricey!and before it's reduced to the highly sought-after form, it's just shit-smelling waste from the whale.

古畑任三郎

观看地址

最近在看古畑任三郎（一部古老的日本推理篇）。主角古畑是个性格怪癖的命案侦探。特别之处在于杀人过程是一开始就交待清楚的，下半部就是怎样锁定嫌疑犯并搜集证据指正他。

不自然的地方，有剧透：

1.喜剧作家（少女漫画家？）
如果我是小石川看到那人手里握着张漫画稿纸我一定会处理掉的，毕竟是条会引向自己的线索。

2.歌舞伎艺人
正好在那个时候碰到升降机修理工，太巧了吧。

3.精神科医生
我觉得这集吧，引诱死者玩强盗游戏的过程过于偶然，证据确是很自然。

4.推理小说家
干吗搞6张传真，迟三分钟那回就可以把老婆解决了，太过戏剧化。不过么毕竟是推理小说家的妄想演习，无理中又有种真实感。

5.将棋冠军挑战赛
复印纸印上去的字和手写的有很大区别，难道光是肉眼看不出来么？古畑第一眼会认不出自己的字？

6.音乐学院
干吗要安排在演出前一天杀人呢？orz 这一话剧情很弱，不过饰演女钢琴师的演技很赞！

Long weekend

这周末我负责“带小孩”，说小也不小了，又因我矮半截头很难看出谁是姐姐。又去Stanley Park骑了圈车吹风晒太阳。每次去我都默默的打算：下次要来走一圈，走哪儿歇哪儿，歇哪儿拍哪儿，要一个人来，早出晚归好好享受整一天。

Lion's Gate


潮退后的陆面


这人怕晒太阳的表情很可爱呢


有趣的石头


吃下午饭的时候翻出pride parade的照片来看（在相机里没删），话题就转到同性恋身上了。M明显表示出厌恶，说看到她班上的出柜男一定绕道而行。我当时相当来气，又不是疾病躲什么躲。但是现在的我已经不会很认真的去辩护任何一种说法，大概一两年前，这种自定义的“正义感”就去树下乘凉了。对，我中立的很，这个也是有可能的，那个也有道理，这些都是有可能性的，你想什么跟我都没关系。我可以把五年前的版本召唤回来，那个武断坚决的自己，但是被消极的想法拦了下来。好像近期时不时的自我怀疑让自己的想法也跟着麻木疲软，犹豫之时嘴巴已经慢了半拍。Right, whatever, you dubious jackass.

春之恋

某北方大夫移民到枫叶国后改行做司机教练，生意兴隆。今，有徒弟一名向我们反馈：“春之恋、春之恋 - 我琢磨了好久才明白是Change Lane。”

不知是第几次有人提高声音焦急的质问我“不行啊，你毫无人生目标。你这样下去以后能做什么呢？那你这几个国家都白跑了，出国那么多年也白废了。”

啊，真的，你们这么说的时候我的内心无法隐藏自卑和怀疑，也不只一次的强烈动摇过。难道我的今后就是为了证明你们说的是对的？或是反证你们是错的？这些我都不知道，真的。但左右摇摆是不行的，所以，不是左就是右。我不需要泼冷水的，只要跟我说，选择下来了就坚持走下去。