Master of none

I start to get a sense of what? How to live life, manage own finance, or be dragged down to the bottom and watch my hair fall out one by one?

A lot of futile things I did this afternoon.

I tried to redeem my airmiles for something worthy. I was looking for a multifunction color printer/scanner just so I could continue with graphic practice. I saw a $100 future shop gift card redeemable by 13,000 miles. Great, it's out of stock! Found another air mile home card which's like a one-time credit card payable at major home/electronic stores across Canada. So I called up future shop customer service and inquired whether they recognized that card.The guy said I can only buy their products through air miles website. Sounds like he's got no idea either.

Then I searched ebay and found a 1 dollar scanner/printer/copier auctioned by a Canadian retailer. The title reads 'bla bla printer as it is'. C'mon guys, what do you mean by 'as it is'. I don't like the term one bit...

Then I tried to look for part-time jobs that are mainly telecommunicating or home-stay. There're all kinds of weird job descriptions on craigslist. One of them is 'link exchanger' (under web design) which basically asks you to put their website links on other relevant pages. Other jobs require solid skills in flash/php. I was discouraged (and felt lethargic afterwards from too much negative feedbacks) that I'm master of none. It must feel good if one day someone will refer me as 'O, she's a pro'. If you look up the definition of 'professional', it means 'a special level of skills and extensive knowledge gained through education and experience'. TIME TIME TIME FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS!

I scrolled through the drop-down menu and clicked on 'writers' job title. 'Artist, writers wanted!', a local call from north america. Guess what, they're looking for porn writers who must submit erotic f/f m/m novelles. OTZ

Then CIBC. I was filling out application for shoppers optimum visa and my laptop crashed at the final step of submission. To restart my laptop is like a virtual long march that drains you both emotionally and physically. I clicked through multiple 'this programme is not responding. end now?' popup notice before it shut itself. And then there were endless disk checks and security checks. I watched three rounds of 'pussycat dolls' before it finally restarted.

In essence, nothing's accomplished...