Friday, October 07, 2005

what about me

I'm going through a phase again, and I don't know how long it'll last. There were once worries that disappeared just as quick as they came, also repetitive doubts pestering the heart. Anxiety is a top health killer I know but what about myself, what about me. When am I able to feel proud of myself, or comfortable with the undecorated me. It's tiring to be forced to bend, like a spring that longs to spring back. Taciturn at times, outspoken when it doesn't count, warped sense of humour that makes people go 'huh', easily confused by others' logics and find their speeches hard to follow, curious only when awake, studious only when in the mood. no idea how to purr or to be petted, not so lovable neither mellow - my basic constitutions that surface above acute self awareness when i'm inwardly reflecting. i could've been a little bit different. the better way to put it is, i could've done things in a way more convenient for myself and others. but i just can't. i'm scared of an unspoken fear, or the consequences of embracing that fear.

if there's no limit in trying, is there a limit on compromise?

...
...
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maybe i should
do
do
something

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