The Tudors

最近体力又开始直线下滑，今天不过出去走两次就累到翻白眼，走回家的时候差点脚下落空。还是稍微运动一下比较好，不然在我步入30之前就未老先衰了。

靠。。。丢了信用卡。

去书店的时候看到熟悉的封面，全黑的背景上贴着绿色圣诞树剪纸卡样，印着Rear View的白色标签。翻开第一页看到那段话，原来是这本。那时候也是被封面和quote吸引，实际上连第一个故事都没读完。回来后老老实实读完一个故事，满是生活的无奈。一对40有余的夫妇驾着vintage车在高速上开啊开，丈夫想重温20多岁那年去Mardi Gras的兴奋，妻子在一旁不冷不热的质问“那时你几岁？” 又是那种口气。妻子一直想找机会告诉他生孩子没希望了，她已经不育，但找不到合适的空当插话。车子因为丈夫一时的固执和愚蠢被损得无法继续旅程。抛锚的车，无法重温的青春，和一对夫妻的沉默。

as if what exists, exists
so that it can be lost
and become precious
- Lisel Muller
'In Passing'

The tudors，看到第5集的时候大跌眼镜。因为，Lord Williams 像捉迷藏似的出现在Tallis眼前说“Say yes”。某人的内心小宇宙出现巨大的惊叹号“What？？！” 照理说对gay应该司空见惯，但如此突然的杀出一招还是惊掉下颚。这可是讲Henry VII的历史片啊，虽然已经被改编成soft porn现代美剧口味但还是以王朝内部纠风为主的！Williams说了两遍say yes，某人freeze在电脑前想，恩，也许不是那个意思呢？结果Tallis回答说“But you're married” 一巴掌被打回现实。然后这对完全为gay lovers服务的sweet couple竟然在两集后就被瘟疫拆散，Tallis被遣去法国之际Williams就挂掉了，回来后T在坟头洒泪一把终算坦然。这种昙花一现的老掉牙皇室-音乐家恋情果然还是早早打住为妙。Catherine of Arragon 演的真是太绝了！JRM比起来还显太嫩，毕竟长着副过于俊俏的脸少了洗炼。

My 2nd baby!!

I bought a super cute mini speaker YAMAHA NX-A01


photo taken from http://www.materiel.net/album/6810.jpg

It comes in 8x8x8cm dimension and is piano white in texture, with a circular orange control panel on top. The base sound is quite powerful for its size.

Sighs guess i'll return this to future shop. US sells it $40 cheaper. Why are electronics so cheap in the states???

无厘头

读Given sugar given salt的时候看到背面这张图，死盯了一会儿就觉得哪儿像，果然还是有点。。。像Jady吧？！特别是下巴和嘴唇部分的曲线，微妙！

摘抄一首诗，个人认为是稍浅显些的，其他的至今还是云里雾里，但就是超喜欢Hirshfield！！

All evening, each time I started to say it
(page 29, Given sugar Given salt)

All evening, each time I started to say it,
something would interrupt.
It was not a thought so very large -
it could in fact have slipped through any window
cracked open a bit for air.
Yet each time I started to say it, at that table,
someone else would speak, the moment would pass.
After the fifth time this happened, I began to be amused.
Runt-of-the-litter thought, I thought, unable to get to the tit.
Then suddenly wanted to lift it up,
to feed it an eyedropper's measure of mare's milk,
some warmed sugar water, a little colostrum of badger.
It suddenly seemed to me the kind of thought,
not large, on which a life might turn.
There are many such: unheard, unspoken.
Their blind eyes open and close,
the almost audible valves of their hearts.
But all evening, each time I started to say it,
something would interrupt, the moment would pass.

***
Study notes
colostrum: first milk (during lactation)
badger: common name for otter/weasel
runt of the litter: a very small sized animal, I guess here it means newborns who crave for mother's milk

肚子真的好饿 o---tz

昨晚躺下去突然想起，新概念英语第三本第一章叫A Puma at large，清晰的记得怎样用非常British的口音来讲这句话。于是在被窝里重复两遍“A Puma （小停顿）at large”，逗得自己都想笑。

Orangy girl

concept piece for another drawing


Self-remark: Hair is hedious. Shoes make me sad.

I was coloring from top down and somewhere along the way, to my great shock all my layers disappeared O_O And I was blending in background and outlines when I reached the shoes. That explained for the weird colors.

After consulting online tutorials, I figured out the most important start-up tip is to make your scan large. If you're drawing a 500x500px piece, color on a 1000x1000 scan at least. And I finally found where smudge tool is. Although the effect is close to finger painting, it's still not as real as working on medium in painter. You have that 'blurry' effect after all.

Ya said her first impression of 'despondency' is 'Why are the flowers in the fish's anus'?
- Nice...

DIY

虽然还没有工作，基本上连正式work offer都还是en route，工作签证也还悬在半空，还是有不少感慨。

偶今天去看Order of Phoenix，感觉还不及前面几部。难道是因为少了qudditch? 喜欢Luna Lovegood，有种怪异的亲和感。


Luna conjuring up a petroleum spell (image from imdb.com)

公司是刚设立的，所以不是说走进装修完善的办公室坐下来用现成的。从租地、买电器设备、家具、装潢都要从头开始劳烦。能亲眼见证并参与“土木工程”算是很宝贵的经验吧，如果以后要白手起家的话便有一定的自信能DIY硬件部分。老板的女儿是很能干的人，还有另一个女孩子也是经验丰富，都是同龄人却让我觉得差了一大节。但我后来想，自信是经验之谈。像我学的是理科一直跟实验室打交道，让我去去接一个新的research project我最起码有着手点，能自己摸索着慢慢来。这和她们之前在公司打交道的经验是一个性质，只是内容不同。虽然有淡水鱼被海水呛到的不适，只要keep my head above water从头学起一定可以的。

HP里印象比较深的一句话，Every great wizard in history has started out as nothing more then what we are now. If they can do it, why not us?

最近老觉得现在做的一切都像在为自己的愚蠢与举棋不定而赎罪？考验？晚上想多了睡不着。以后的事憧憬的多怀疑的也多，就在担忧与期盼中度过一天。自己知道的太少只能靠网络资源。现在要装电话，稍微了解一下就一大堆专业词。什么PBX, VoIP, asterisk, 真实的感受到什么叫"don't take things for granted" 吃米的时候还要想这谷粒是怎的杂交出来，啥品种，价钱如何营养成分如何咋从田地里飞到自己手里的？这和小时候似是而非的默念“锄禾日当午”是如此迥异的画面。服务琳琅满目，抓狂至极的时候想罢了罢了，就买一台主机，客户来电就捂住听话筒扯着嗓子喊“某某电话出来接一下”，这和call waiting & redirect的最终结果是一样的，只不过实际过程有点flintstone。大脑已经迟钝到读不懂现代科技产品了！不知道如何选择，周围又没人懂的情况下只能让自己的DIY小宇宙爆发一下。

看到一个叫SUITE101的网站，让我想到NANA的room 707。招聘freelance writer中，Jady也许会感兴趣吧，不过貌似没那么容易。

Suite 101