St. Jacobs

What a lovely town that is. i wonder if 'town' is a proper name. But St. Jacobs, which is located near the outskirt of Waterloo, is a very small but homely place where delicate craft shops topped with snow stand elegantly alongside a frozen river. It reminds me of 'a story right out of a book'! That earth shop in 'whisper of heart'. artisans' hands are god made. And i'm so happy that car was finally back to life and all of us had a chance to go out and breathe fresh air!! It's not cold, perfect whether. Last time we went out to shovel snow, i was frozen hard like iced pork.

back to st. jacobs. the first stop was a somewhat arabian flavoured craft shop with a familiar name 'earth winds'. all of those on display are authentic handmade stuff. wood crafts, pottery, mirrors, carpets. and great! I don't have any money with me, although i'd like to buy the whole shop haha. but it's always been a somewhat childhood ? or teenage dream to own a shop like this, in an enchanting wooden hart, where foreign music drifts in the background, pulling customers souls away. evil laughters * hahahahha*

the most impressive shops we visited were glass shops. stained glass, blown glass. sparkling immaculately smooth surfaces that even tickles your appetite. imagine that rosy coloured plate filled up with grapes, yummy! and dry petals pressed between two stained galss panels. and dreamcatchers of all sizes. one of them is about a metre cube in space. ya said she'd hang it in a triangle topped attic. and together with tarot cards, and mysterious aroma. there you have a perfect witch's alcove.

later this evening, we went to the waterloo park... to be continued

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It's xmas eve today. we played poker this afternoon. me, guizi, ya and Mary. the loser will have to stick strips of paper onto her face. and we're going to take a photo of it tonight. ya got 7 strips . she even claimed 7 is her fav no. i got 5. Mary 4, and guizi the least - 2. It was all so hilarious. I don't know what mum n dad will think if i show them the photo.
was reading 'howl's moving castle' ebook last night, the original story by diana wynne jones is very different from what's adapted into the animation by miyazaki. Howl is indeed very vain... I'm only 1/3 through, can't wait to see what happens to the contract and what the hell that dark secret vault is. That seems to hold Howl's , or Jenkin's secrets.

the snow before xmas

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow
i haven't seen snow so thick in years!! it's so much colder here in waterloo than back in toronto. me guizi n ya were happily planning to build a snow man but when we found ourselves knee deep in the piercing cold snow we started cursing how this could be a human place at all. and our snow man builing plan turned out to be snow clearing. the drive in lane in front of the garage was a daunting task. luckily we worked in groups. four girls = 2 men? equal in work done. my arms were tired and my back strained. and my face burning from the cold. i doubt if i'll get arthritis... and snow bites and much much more.....

gotta knock a little harder

Gotta Knock A Little Harder
(from cowboy bebop, 'knocking on heaven's door')

Happiness is just a word to me
And it might have meant a thing or two
If I'd had known the difference
Emptiness, a lonely parody
And my life, another smokin' gun
A sign of my indifference
Always keepin' safe inside
Where no one ever had a chance
To penetrate or break in
Let me tell you some have tried
But I would slam the door so tight
That they could never get in
Kept my cool under a lock and key
And I never shed a tear
Another sign of my condition
Fear of love or bitter vanity
That kept me on the run
The main events at my confession
I kept a chain upon my door
That would shake the shame of Cain
Into a blind submission
The burning ghost without a name
Was still calling all the same
But I just wouldn't listen
The longer I'd call
The further I'd crawl
The further I'd crawl
the harder I'd fall
I was crawlin' into the fire
The more that I saw
The further I'd fall
The further I'd fall
the lower I'd crawl
I kept fallin' into the fire
Into the fire
Into the fire
Suddenly it occured to me
The reason for the run and hide
Had totaled my existence
Everything left on the other side
could never be much worse than this
But I could go the distance
I face the door and all my shame
Tearin' off each piece of chain
Until they all were broken
But no matter how I tried
The other side was locked up so tight
The door it wouldn't open
Give it all that I got
And started to knock
Shouted for someone
To open the lock
I just gotta get through the door
And the more that I knocked
The hotter I got
The hotter I got
the harder I'd knock
I just gotta break through the door
Gotta knock a little harder
Gotta knock a little harder
Gotta knock a little harder
Break through the door

insomnia

I can't sleep. I used to be a heavy sleeper and now i can't sleep, lying there for almost an hour millions of thoughts rush through my mind, nerve endings actively firing. i start to sound like jady, poor poor jady. now i'm in exactly the same situation. i wish it's only the crazy exam period that causes this hopefully temporary anxiety syndrome coz all the unhappy memories and speculations of my gloomy future flush over me in tidal waves. it must be the exams i need to know. what about mum. is she burdened with thoughts too? dreams bread a thousand nightmares. is there an angel who has the magic power of sleep? all the dust laid down in those sleepless nights who can blow them away. i feel myself fossilising. i keep asking myself am i happy. i'm not. i said the word 'lonely' tenfolds over and then i tried to chant 'happy happy happy' it turned so sour, what a parody. i'm not happy. i'm not. there're so many reasons I know why I'm not, who can gimme one reason why i am. maybe it's just the exam that has taken its toll on me. but it shouldn't. i wasn't the exam stress type. because of something else.
lollipops, sound of raindrops on my umbrella, icecream, sushi(i want jellyfish), the first ray of light on an early winter morning, i opened the door to the balcony and let it in and it dissolved me. my childhood playmates. a novel project that's to take place. mum's cooking. mum dad n me sitting together laughing. the trees outside dad's office window. the clock tower, early birds. pavillions. the secret quiet path circling the hill. things that make me happy. breathing the wind. singing as if nobody's hearing. having the courage to forgive and forget. i feel better now.